I looked around me, still nervous beyond measure. Dances really were not my thing. My boyfriend Sam had dragged me to this one, against my wishes. Not that I wasn’t happy. Sam was a great guy- on the football team, handsome enough, though not particularly smart. Anyways, I really had no place better to be than at the Senior Prom… of all places. But my parents had gone to their high school reunion. Yes, they had both gone to the same high school, a few towns over. Actually, they had been high school sweethearts, which was sweet, but really, tonight of all nights, when I needed some excuse? 

Anyways. My parents were at their reunion, I was at Sam’s dance, and he was handing me a glass of punch and I was taking a sip and what am I an idiot? This is a Senior Prom! Not some Middle School dance! Admittedly, the last dance I had been to had been a middle school dance, but still I am an idiot don’t drink that no, no why am I taking another sip put it down!  

Sam saw my expression and laughed. “Then how about dancing instead?” 

I allowed him to lead me to the dance floor, but then I stopped and looked around. I didn’t like dancing overly much and tried to avoid it most times, but now it was either this or the punch. So I allowed myself to begin dancing, somewhat awkwardly. 

Then I was saved, or rather, apprehended, by one of the teachers. “Alice?” he said quietly, “the principal would like to see you in his office.” I glanced up at him. It was the assistant Principal. Sam stopped dancing then. I had stopped at the first opportunity. 

“What? The principal?” Sam asked. The assistant principal nodded solemnly. I’m not in trouble, I’m never in trouble… but there’s a first time for everything. No, no, I mean, what have I done? Nothing, that’s what. 

“All… all right.” I said, and allowed myself to be led off by Mr. Henrison. The office wasn’t that far from the cafeteria and so it was a short enough walk. Mr. Harrison strode in front of me, and I followed him, as quickly as I could considering the fact that I was several inches shorter than he and anyways I was wearing a skirt. 

Finally, he stopped outside the door to the principal’s office. I knocked softly on the wood (probably fake) of the door. 

“Come in.” Said a quiet voice from within. I stepped over the slightly raised threshold that was, I considered, there to make people trip and look stupid. “Ah, Miss Liddel. Please, sit.” the principal gave me what may or may not have been a smile, and then quickly looked down at his desk. 

I took a seat in one of the chairs. It was surprisingly comfortable. 

“Miss Liddel, I have been informed that your parents where at their high school reunion tonight.” 

“That’s right.” 

He gave me a sad look. 

“I am terribly sorry to inform you that their high school-” he paused and shook his head. “There has been an accident. A fire, apparently, started and…” 

I stared at him in shock.  A fire? At…? No way. No way. “Are… are they hurt? May I see them?!” 

“I’m so sorry, Miss Liddel – Alice – your parents didn’t make it.” 

Everything went foggy. I could vaguely hear him saying some sort of apology or something of that nature, but I was unaware. 

“Mrs. Glenning will take you home.” that was the first thing that I heard. 

“I have a car.” I said calmly. 

“I don’t think it wise to have you go home unaccompanied.” I nodded. That was probably true. After all, I had had some of the punch. He guided me out of his office and out to where Mrs. Glenning, one of the English teachers, was waiting. She tutted and fussed around me and eventually piled me into the car and drove away. In a daze I gave her directions to my house. 

I wasn’t even aware of driving. The Principal’s words echoed in my head, over and over again. 

“Out you get, Alice.” she said. I slid out of her car and looked up at my house. It was a nice, big house. My father had been a very, very successful businessman. Had been. I gulped. Past tense. In a daze I staggered up the walk, and collapsed on one of the couches in the living room. 

“I’ll make you some tea, then, shall I?” Mrs. Glenning said, and, without waiting for a response, she bustled into the kitchen. In an instant, I was out the back door, running blindly. I was across the lawn and into the woods in seconds. I was over the wooden plank of a bridge that crossed the little river; I was running through the deeper woods. My vision blurred and everything looked like green and brown cotton balls, blurred as they were by the first real tears that fell down my cheeks. 

I stared around me. Lost, Alice, you’re lost, you are. I staggered a few more steps, and then collapsed. I waited for my head and shoulders to hit the ground with a thump, but it didn’t happen. I kept falling, dragging my legs with me. I was falling down a something. A something. A hole. I was falling down a hole. A big hole, big enough for me to fit, and it was a deep hole too, which meant an inevitable splat. 

I twisted myself around, trying to open my eyes. Yes, it was deep, I couldn’t see the bottom. I saw some sort of glowing light-thing on the wall, not a lamp or a light bulb or even a torch or a candle, just a thing. There were a lot of them, I realized. Glowing purple. Strange. 

I twisted in midair some more. I had been falling for some minutes. But still no ground. That was going to be a very final splat, I decided. Very final indeed. My fears of becoming a stain on someone’s floor were relieved somewhat, when I bounced off a mattress, and narrowly missed a grand piano that jumped out from behind a wall to scare me. No, it had drifted through the wall and now was drifting through the other wall, and now it was gone from sight. 

How much punch did you drink, Alice? No, wait, there’s a glass of water on that table there. That might clear your head, go on. I grasped at the glass, and finally managed to pick it up, observing in passing that the water didn’t even slosh as I went careening downwards. 

Having drained the glass, I placed it down on a passing end table trundling its way across the tunnel. After another relatively eventful time falling, during which I tried to figure out what the purple things were, I realized that I was now falling through leaves. Oops, here comes the splat!  But I found to my surprise that presently, I was sitting upright in a rather nice old wingback chair, at the head of a long and very empty table. 

I surveyed the room I was in. There was nothing on the table, nor was there anyone at the table except myself. But then noticed that, directly opposite me, there was a door. Unthinkingly, I stood up and attempted to open it. It swung open freely, and I entered, skirting a round table with a key on it. I looked around myself, again. I was in a hallway, absolutely surrounded by doors. 

I tried the handle of the nearest one. Locked! So was the next one, and the next after that. I whirled, grabbing the key off the table and jamming it into every keyhole that I could see. No good. It was inexplicably too small for every single one. Well that’s no good, is it? I sighed, and pushed back the curtain at the end of the hall. Maybe I could climb out a window or some such. 

There was no window, but there was a little door. 

“Who could use a door so small?” I said, to the world at large. I knelt down and tried the key. The stupid thing fit. Fat lot of good that did me! “This is ridiculous!” I left the key there and went back to the first door, to see if I could just go home, but then I saw on the table, a bottle of Poland Spring bottled water.  Whoa, was that here before? Of course, Poland spring doesn’t just appear! And anyways, I’m thirsty and it hasn’t been opened so I might as well. I barely managed to take a sip before I felt… funny. The table was growing, I decided. It had been up to my waist and now it was up to my shoulder and now my head and now I was in a sort of sea of cloth. I struggled out, silently cursing the Poland Spring bottle, and pulled at the white underskirt thing my prom dress had had underneath it. It was like a smaller dress and it was enormous on me, but not very heavy, so, on a whim, I trudged down to the end of the hall, and ducked through the doorway. I blinked. 

The sea. The sea, that was the sea right there. The sea! I had come out a door – I whirled and found to my relief hat it was still there- and now I was at the beach? Okay. It’s official. The punch was spiked. I found to my astonishment that my under-dress was now the appropriate size for a clothing thing of its nature, which meant that I was now Alice-sized once again. Well, that’s a relief. I looked around. The beach was desolate. Nobody was there. At least, that’s what i had first thought.

“This way!” a voice cried.

“No, its’ this way!”

“Starboard!”

“This is starboard, that’s port you idiot!” I stared as the front bit of a boat came into view. The bow, I think. I then saw two figures struggling with something.

“you’re wrong!”

“Am not!”

“Am too!”

“You’re an idiot!”

“Why not just put it in the middle?” I called. One of them looked up and saw me.

“Hello!” she called. “The middle? you’re a genius!” Presently, the ship came over and pulled itself up on the land. The girl jumped down. “hello,” she said a gain, “I’m Dee. This is my brother, Dum.” I stared at her. Her hair was shorter than  mine and brown where mine was black, and she had a sort of paperboy hat on. And the word DEE was written on her forehead.

Then a boy jumped down. he had DUM written on his, and shorter hair, but other than that they really looked exactly the same. “Who’s this?”

“I’m Alice.” I said.

“Did I ask you?” he turned to what had to be his sister. “Who’s this?”

“That’s Alice.” Dee said.

“Alice… Alice begins with an A.”

“You’re right!” Dee looked delighted. “She must be that person! We have to take her with us!”

“So, your names are Dee and Dum? As in… Tweedle?” I asked, mystified.

“Oh, you know our dad!” Dee said happily. “Come on, Alice.”

They ushered me up onto their ship, and Dee led me towards one side. I saw a very pretty girl sitting there.

“Dodo, This is Alice.” I stared for a moment at her wings, before Dee turned to me. “Alice, this is Dodo. He’s a good sort, so I’ll leave you here.”

“He?”  I said, spinning around. But she was gone.

“Hello, Alice.” Dodo said, in a male voice.

“He.” I repeated softly to myself. I sat down shakily. “hello.” He smiled at me.

“You need some proper clothes. He said after a while. He stood up.

“HEAD DOWN, DODO!” Dee shouted, nearly careening into him from above. He beckoned for me to follow him, and I did, not without some considerable caution. He handed me a blue dress, eventually, and some striped socks that went all the way up to where they were almost tights, and a different under-dress thing, and I went into a room of sorts and got changed. Presently I came out, and he handed me some shoes.

“Thanks Dodo.” I said, smiling, and he smiled back. then he stood up.

“HEAD DOWN, DODO! HEAD DOWN!” Dee screamed, again nearly missing him. We made our way back to the bench thing, in a sort of crouch.

“Where are we?” I asked him eventually. He shrugged.

I turned to Dum, who was walking past. “What Sea is this?” I asked.

“What? This is the River.” He said. I looked around. Nothing but horizon in every direction. How can it be a river?!

“Almost there!” Dee called a few minutes later. Dodo handed me a rope.

“Um, no thanks.” I said, giving him a puzzled look. He gave me one back.

I leaned on the rail of the ship, and saw what looked like a line. A horizon, but it was much too close. In fact, it looked more like a waterfall. We were headed for it, at a sort of diagonal. I could see from here, though, that we were doomed. But no-one else looked worried. So I tried to act calm. Maybe there was a rope or something that would stop us.

“A rope. That’s right.” Dee said, when I asked her.  So I just watched as the waterfall grew closer.

And then I was falling. Again. The ship went over the edge, and my feet slid out from under me and I fell off the ship. I closed my eyes.  I’ll go splat this time for sure!

“Where’s her safety harness?!” Dee shouted.

But just as I was embracing my fate, I landed, not softly, but safely.

I opened my eyes on hearing that. “Who- what- when- where-  put me down!” I shrieked.

He dropped me unceremoniously on the… the ground. We were standing on the ground. At a pier. Next to a river. A river. Not an ocean, a river. I stared at it. then the person who had caught me. He didn’t look like he was much older than me, and he had a giant hat on his head. And mushrooms on one shoulder. I stared some more. His pants were horrible  and plaid, and his jacket was horrible and green, as was his hat.

“Calm down. Honestly.” He sighed. “What do you think you were doing, falling into my arms like that? And on purpose, too, no doubt!” he shook his head, pretending to be remorseful.

“I- I have a boyfriend!” I shouted, outraged. Who did this lunatic think he was?!

“How interesting. Then perhaps you ought to restrain yourself.” he walked past me, to where i saw the boat was now pulling into the dock. “Dum, welcome back! Dee… still wearing those clothes I see.” he seemed to be admonishing her. then Dodo made his own way off. “and here is your counterpart.” he remarked, looking no less severe, but then he suddenly smiled warmly. “You are coming to tea, yes?”

“I have to sit this one out, Hatter.” Dodo said. Hatter. Well, his hat is rather impressively large. I suppose it only makes sense. If you can call it sense. What did he mean by ‘those clothes’ ? ”I have been away for  a long time,” Dodo continued, “And I really have to get back.” 

“Dum?” Hatter asked, plaintively.

“Oh, fine.” Dum said.

“Er… Dum. Somebody has written your name on your forehead. Again.” Hatter observed.

Dee smiled at him. “We couldn’t get it off so I wrote on mine to compensate.”

He gave her a cold look. “Will you dress properly before coming to tea?” he inquired, and, when she shook her head, “No, you never do. I guess it can’t be helped, if you want to dress like a man.” She smiled even wider.

Thanks Hatter! Come on Alice!” she said to me.

“Coming.” I replied. I had managed to stand up and brush off my dress.

Hatter spun around to stare at me. “Alice?!” he shouted in a strangled sort of yelp.

“Yep. We brought her to you, because of the … you-know-what.”  Dee said, clearly delighted.

“Alice?!” Hatter cried again.

“You could come stay with me, dear.” Dodo offered, in his female voice.

“Er…”

“No, no, no! We brought to Hatter!” Dee pouted. Dodo shrugged and walked off.  I stared after him, stricken, as the only sane person I had met walked away, his skirt swishing in the dust of the street. I’m doomed.

Hatter sighed. “Dee, you need to stop believing everything.”

“But it said, plain as day, ‘you will meet someone whose name begins with an A’ so we thought…”

“… that you ought to see her at least.” Dum finished the sentence.

“Mine only said ‘you will make a friend’” Dee sighed.

“Look, you should have left her where she was, not uprooted her all because of my fortune cookie.” Hatter shook his head sadly. I stared at him. A fortune cookie? Really?! These people are all insane…

“But we found her on the banks of the C. By that cliff.” Dee said, looking at Hatter conspiratorially.

He stared at her. Then he turned and they both stared at me. “Well. ” Hatter said eventually. “You’d best come along, Miss Alice.” I glanced at Dee, who was nodding encouragingly.

“All right.” I said, glancing over my shoulder at where Dodo had gone.

“It’s too late.” Dum told me. “He’s gone, you know. If you’d wanted to go with him you should have gone. Now you ought to come with us to tea.”

I nodded slowly and allowed Dee to lead me off, following Hatter, who had galloped ahead. Dum was just behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the boat I had arrived in bobbing placidly on the water.